The Miracle Morning: The First Thirty Days

Dear friends I haven't met yet,

     Like many people obsessed with being better, I read self help books. Most of the time they just get me feeling down about what I'm just not capable of with my combination of diseases right now. However, after my interest was piqued after hearing about The Miracle Morning so much in groups I'm in, and checking out the website and not being immediately dissuaded, I put the book on hold at my library. And promptly forgot about it for months, until I got a notification that the book was ready to download. You might have seen the book in my "currently reading" from my last post. Truth be told, it took me two days to read, so I'd finished it before that post was published--published as part of my miracle morning. You can find the basics of The Miracle Morning (TMM) by Hal Elrod here.

Here's what my MM looked like to begin with (I have been changing it as I refine it, which Elrod suggests)

• Brush teeth

• Drink water (approximately 1/2 a glass instead of a suggested full one, as I frequently drink water during the night)

• Get coffee & take meds

• Review affirmations

• Bullet journal and plan my day/week/month

• Write in my diary

• Meditate

• Stretch, as I have no room for yoga and no shoes for running (also, pandemic)

• Look at my vision board I made on day 5

• Write

• Read fiction and nonfiction, in whichever order seems best at the time

     One thing I will be fundamentally ignoring is Hal Elrod's "Level 10 Life." I did not feel that was a focus in his book. It is really something meant to help you track your progress, and it does look pretty in bullet journals. However, as I read of James Clear's "integrity report," that vibed with me much better. In the second ten days I read about it and decided to do something about it, which I will go into more detail on a different day. For now, there will be allusions to values I feel I am furthering, but not "levels" in areas of my life like what had initially brought me to The Miracle Morning.

    My worry as I continued this habit was that I wouldn't make it thirty days. I've talked to my family about it and some of them have the same issue I do: we can do a habit damn near perfectly for about 14 to 21 days, and then it vanishes from this earth. I agreed with Elrod: if I could make it thirty days, it was probably a habit. If I couldn't, I would just be reinforcing negative beliefs about myself—something I'm not keen on doing while trying to improve my life.

     Day 5 is when I really started noticing anything. I was woken up by someone in the house saying the family's shop was broken into and a collector's car was stolen. The cops came and my world was disrupted. However, unsure what to do to ease my mind, I fell back on what was the easiest thing: the MM schedule I had already conceived of and been trying to do for days now, mostly with success. I didn't have to think about anything, I could just do what was already set out for me.

     It was on that day that I noticed that it seemed like enthusiasm was being cultivated by TMM. There was nothing in my MM that didn't have a purpose and nothing that didn't align with my goals. I could be happy with my decisions because I'd carefully chosen them as something I wanted to do over and over again. When my MM was over, I felt like I had earned my free time. However, I was also more enthused and motivated to do things that benefited me more than scrolling through social media during a pandemic or over-obsessing over car models and security footage. Things like the hobbies I'm rediscovering thanks to the pandemic: soothing video games and the relaxation of fiber arts like knitting.

One thing I do the book is mostly against is being flexible. I don't take the morning to myself, I don't wake up early—I'm all about waking up naturally, preferably around ever-variable sunrise—and I don't stick to the schedule in the same way he does. I adamantly remain flexible, which seems like an oxymoron but it isn't. When meditating makes me fall back asleep, I don't give up on TMM. Instead, I just resume where I left off. When I end up unexpectedly having to leave in half an hour, I resume my MM when I get back instead of abandoning it for a shorter morning routine. (Because I am slow, my morning routine takes a number of hours at minimum.) I also don't time my tasks. Instead, I do each task until I get to an appropriate stopping point--for writing, until an article is done; for meditating, until the exercise is done; etc.

     On day 6, I did something not really advocated for in the book. I took a day off, because having a day off has been important to me for many things already. That said, I didn't completely abandon my MM; instead I modified what existed to suit a lazy day. I still did everything up to meditate, but skipped that and stretching. Writing I didn't put as much work into, but still had some things to say, so I didn't skip it completely. As for reading, I didn't put pressure on myself to read anything in particular or to read both fiction and nonfiction that day. I ended up starting a new manga and continuing to read another self help book (both listed below.)

    On day 8, I had some challenges. Instead of waking up at sunrise, I stayed in bed until noon because I missed my boyfriend's snuggles. I felt behind already. Then I got coffee and food before the first two steps and felt like I'd messed it up. Still, I returned to the list I kept on my phone and the order I listed on it. Then I came to meditation, and I couldn't do it because of noises happening in my environment, so I had to skip that until an opportunity presented itself for just a few minutes. Then I found I didn't have much to say, so I didn't write as much as I wanted to.

     Days 9 and 10 were the worst, however. On day 9, a series of events meant I sacrificed half my miracle morning to be a social person (within my household.) It was great hanging out at a bonfire behind the house I was allowed to stay in, but between that and the essential shopping I'd done early in the morning, I didn't have time for my morning to finish before I was ready for bed. On day 10, after two challenging days in a row, I wasn't feeling up to my MM was much as usual. I still did it, as evidenced by my notes on the day itself, but I wasn't as enthusiastic as Elrod had assured me I'd be to do my MM every day. It seemed like now was a time to hold it together and slog through until things became enjoyable again.

     Day 11 was so unsuccessful it almost isn't worth talking about. I got up hours after when I wanted to and in an awful mood, which lead to not doing any of my MM, although I did read later. At the end of the day—hours after I wanted to go to bed for the next day—I ended up feeling like if I'd just gone through with the MM but late, I could have felt better, something like I'd done on day 8. The next day I woke up almost as late and on less sleep but determined to do my MM this time. I especially wanted to get to reading, as that had been something that lifted my mood the previous day. That meant I had to go through my whole MM to get to the part I wanted.

     Day 13 should have been my rest day, but since I'd botched two days this past week, I decided against skipping TMM this time. I ended up forgetting rest days were supposed to be a thing at all after that. I got up earlier than the last two days, making a gentle transition back into waking up a reasonable time for me. This was important, as with my environment and natural tendencies, it was really easy to give up and wake up at dinner time every day. On day 14 I realised I was going for a different groove than originally intended: I'd go to sleep at a so-so hour, sleep until my boyfriend went to bed, then stay in bed an extra couple hours to be with him. Then my MM started while he was still asleep—which certainly made the meditation step easier, as all was quiet in my little section of the universe.

     It was around day 17 that I realised something devastating: if I didn't feel like doing my MM, I just wouldn't wake up. I'd procrastinate starting my day entirely, which was throwing my sleep schedule off. No matter that perfectly pleasant things were in my MM, like making coffee, drinking water, or stretching; it all felt like work to me, and my brain was built resistant to work. The plan was backfiring, and I didn't know what to do about it. When I eventually did wake up—at almost four in the afternoon--I did my best to do my MM in the order it seemed most appealing, so I would get anything done at all. I brushed my teeth and drank water, then did my bullet journal, then got coffee, then journalled, then ate, then wrote... all out of order, and defeating some of the purpose of the order: exercising before I wrote was meant to be stimulating. Meditating before the bulk of my day was meant to ground myself.

     On days 18 and 19, I questioned whether it was really a good idea to add the stress of a new routine onto myself during a pandemic. I figured I should just stick to self care and replicate the success of day 18, where I didn't finish my MM but I came out of it happy and feeling like I accomplished something nonetheless. That day I played a video game with my partner for several hours over a few drinks—that's what felt healthy. So when I woke up on day 19, I wanted to replicate that feeling, not my MM that still hadn't gone from "stressful" to "routine" yet. However, my good friend encouraged me to complete my MM anyway because I "would feel bad" if I didn't do it--which is likely true. At this point, I figure I'll complete the thirty days, and even if it doesn't end well, I'll try again after the pandemic is over, I've moved house, and I have a new normal. I would commit to thirty days, and make what I could of it after. It helped that I had a blog post to write about it!

     Day 21 came and I was pretty much only going through with my MM--still often out of order, although I was also tweaking the order to see what would work best (such as moving meditation to before I got out of bed)--because my friend told me to. However, if you've read nearly anything about habits, you know that an accountability partner really helps you with habits, and that's something I'd inadvertently done here. TMM also highly recommends someone going through the journey with you, but I didn't know anyone--especially in this time--interested in starting a whole new morning routine. I thought about going to TMM's online community, but they had restrictive rules I did not consent to, so I opted not to find a stranger that way.

     One of my affirmations is "I am a writer. I will write something--anything--everyday, and people will want to read it." I really expanded what "anything" meant on day 20 when I wrote something that was more wish fulfillment/goal realisation than anything else. There was a lot of time and words put into it though, and it helped me feel better in a transitory time in my life. I planned to keep adding to it as I thought of new things for my ideal life after getting a house and surviving the plague.

     Day 22 I failed to complete my MM, but I did start it before being interrupted. Day 23 I woke up and decided to prioritise reworking my miracle morning—I'd just spent 16 hours sleeping because I didn't want to do the "work" of my morning. On the basis that I needed to make it more appealing, I looked to what I'd garnered from Atomic Habits and got to work making each step obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying, at least as much as possible. The first, most invisible step to my MM was "waking up," and that was truly where the problem lay. In conjunction with my partner, I decided on this: as long as I woke up at a reasonable time, I could play a game* before my MM started. If I didn't wake up on time I would have to wait until after my MM, but I could still play, motivating me to still get out of bed as soon as possible so I didn't miss real-time game mechanics.

     Before I show you the following chart (although feel free to take a peek!) here's an explanation: the "-" in the chart show areas I can't get around being hidden/unattractive/difficult/dissatisfying. The "+" are where it's easy for me to see it is obvious/attractive/easy/satisfying. The dark green is areas I needed to focus new efforts on, such as using a game to incentivize waking up. The "?" are where I figure there's a way to make things more aligned with the laws of habit making, but I haven't thought of it yet.

     One thing you'll notice is that I made my vision board (a simple PNG I threw together) and my writing program open when my computer starts up. They aren't highlighted because it was an instant change I didn't have to think about again. This is the best type of implementation for habits, but simply not possible for everything—I can't always have coffee ready to be brewed without going through the effort of adding water and coffee to the machine every time, for instance.

     After starting to read another book, Getting Things Done by David Allen, I decided that, to clear my mind for meditation and the rest of my morning, I'd capture stray thoughts and just write them down to be looked at & addressed when I bullet journalled later--just so they were out of my head for a while, but so they would actually be addressed sooner rather than later.

When, the next day, I got up early only to go back to sleep before starting my MM, my friend suggested stretching first thing, and my partner suggested making sure I had coffee sooner rather than later. So I rearranged my MM again so that I did some of it before playing my game, including getting coffee, and some of it after. By the end of that, here's the new idea I had for a MM, split in half by something I would do anyway to make it easier to get up:

• Meditate

• Brush teeth

• Drink water

• Get coffee

• Take meds

• Capture stray thoughts

• Yoga/stretch

• Play a videogame

• Affirmations

• BuJo

• Oracle

• Journalling

• Vision board

• Write

• Read fic/nonfic

• Read nonfic/fic

     You'll notice I got rid of "eat" in my MM. I decided "whenever I was hungry" was the best time to eat, because otherwise I couldn't concentrate on the next steps. When I have a better schedule, maybe I'll be hungry at a consistent time (is my hope.) For now, at least with my particular mental health, I can go hours and my whole MM feeling so not-hungry food makes me nauseous.

     The first day of May was my 26th day of using TMM. On the first of every month, I reflect on the data I collected in my bullet journal about the previous month. As such, I was able to see how my days had been going... and while there were more factors than just TMM, the three days before the first were numerically the best kind of days I could have. I had more energy by the time I went to bed most days. I was actually sick less, but although I mainly attribute that to treatment, I don't think TMM wasn't helpful. I also found myself appreciating the routine TMM gives me in this time of quarantine. It gives me structure in a chaotic society.

     I wish I could say that was the end, but honestly it wasn't. Not only did I find flaws in my new configuration (I had more commitment to playing the game before a certain time than to only playing it after my MM) but, as expected in any given thirty day period, I got sick eventually. Because of that I took two and a half days off to recover, right at the end of my thirty day period. I'm going to have to be okay with that interrupting my MM, because I get sick a lot. I don't get sick for as long as some of my chronically ill friends, but I have two separate issues that affect my ability to physically or mentally show up for a task.

     That said... I found myself itching to go back to my MM or at least do some of the tasks on the days I took off sick. When I determined I was better, I set an alarm for the next day using a special app that only went off when I was already awake (Sleep as Android) and got back to work. Because, in part, of mania, I did end up doing things out of order again. It seems like there is no best order that applies to every day.

     I would recommend TMM. I got more out of it than I even expected. For other people trying it, here's what I would keep in mind: First of all, read the book. Unlike other self help books, it had a use to every paragraph besides reiterating or selling itself. This book actually explained to me the why and how without annoying me, and when I'm reading nonfiction, I'm easy to annoy. The website didn't convince me.

     Second, make a big list of your ideals to get done every day, and then focus on a few of them. For me, I had plenty of other neglected areas of my life—such as language learning--that I didn't include, but might include in the future when I have more spoons (definition) to spare. I focused on what I was pretty much already doing every day, which each took a long time to put into practice, and then filled in different parts of SAVERS based on my personal goals. For me, I focused on mental health and writing, so I added reading, writing, affirmations, visualization, and meditation.

     Third, define what constitutes a partial success, both for each activity and for the MM as a whole. I find this crucial to keeping momentum. For me, I got a partial success if I did at least half the MM, so even the first day I was sick, I got a partial success. Fourth, and I also find this crucial, define when you'll let go of your miracle morning, and when you won't. For me I allow interruptions but not cancellations most of the time--change of plans, but then I get right back to TMM, including the day I'm writing this. But I will cancel for a migraine or getting sick, because I know I need to focus on caring for myself at those times. I'll also cancel for a holiday or major, day-long event. While it's not in my future right now, I would cancel on a day I had a race, for instance. Make sure you build these into your plan so you can feel freed on these days, not guilty. There are many challenges. If you can anticipate them, it will be easier, so consider coming up with a plan for what to do in case of roadblocks with individual steps as well as the whole process.

     Next, I would say read up on how to make good habits stick. I wouldn't have nearly as much success if I hadn't spent so much time in my life reading books like Atomic habits and blog post after blog post about habits, trying to make up for my own deficiencies through Some Miracle Science. Part of TMM is reading, so that's a good place to start.

     Finally, be flexible. If you find your mind is too amped up after working out to sit down and meditate, meditate before your workout and do something like journaling after your workout. If you get interrupted, go right back to your MM. If you only have an hour, cut down how much time you spend per activity.

     In daily life, we come across challenges big and small all the time. In crafting a miracle morning, I think we take control over what some of those challenges look like and how worth it it will be to overcome them. We can also actively combat some challenges by setting aside this time for ourselves. It's all in how you craft your time and priorities.

*Yes, the game is Animal Crossing: New Horizons, but as I tire of that or complete the game (which to me is completing the museum and paying off my house), I could substitute it with other games I can find about an hour of playtime in on a console or PC that wasn't usually in use. I'm usually into some game or another, so hopefully this plan has lasting benefits.