Wellness Toolbox

Dear friends I haven't met yet,

     For months now, I’ve had a central hub for where I can go for (mental) wellness, laid out in my bullet journal. I call it my Wellness Toolbox. The toolbox itself is actually more of a directory leading me to the right tools for the job, though.

     For example, I can be made anxious by nightmares about triggering events. If I at least had the mind to check my wellness toolbox (a vital skill I have, alas, not yet mastered!), I could go down the path labeled “anxious” and figure out approximately what coping skills in approximately what order I should go down.

     In concept, that should be all I need to write, but the reality is that I arrived at my own wellness toolbox through two decades of study on how to regulate myself, and I’m still learning. I actually regret putting my box in pen in my new notebook, because it’s a work in progress I see myself changing once a month or so for the rest of time.

SUMMARY: A wellness toolbox is a flowchart of actions to take when things get (mentally) tough. To customise its contents can take some finesse, however.

     For me personally, most of the boxes in my flowchart are journalling prompts carefully tailored so I don’t sink into whatever negative emotion I’m feeling, and instead slowly rise above it. One thing I shouldn’t do when I’m angry, for instance, is free write about it, because I’ll just spiral into ever-more anger, or forget the real things that needed to be addressed behind why I felt that way. A unique part of feeling angry is I’m usually mad at someone (even myself), and when I write a letter to that someone—even if I don’t intend on sending it—I clarify my thoughts, get to the root of the issue, and come away with potential talking points if it does need to be discussed.

     These are not the only coping mechanisms however! There’s also the physical (taking space, exercising, going for a walk), the sensory (listening to music, eating chocolate, using a fidget or weighted blanket), the creative (painting, making music, dancing), the distracting (watching a show, doing chores, playing a game), the social (being around a lot of people or none, talking to a trusted friend, doing therapy) and more.

     The things you include, the frequency at which you include them, what situations you include them for, and the order you put them in is all based on trial and error on your part to see what works for you, or just what you’d like to try.

SUMMARY: Coping mechanisms vary from person to person and include the mental, the physical, the sensory, the creative, the distracting, the social, and others.

     An important part of the carryover of the custom aspect of the wellness toolbox was that I could make another one to manage frequent physical symptoms. It is just as I write this, ice pack on my head, that I may get around to making an extension of the wellness toolbox for physical symptoms. I could make a separate path for headaches, for migraines, and for nausea, for instance. This versatility applies to mental applications as well. As you’ll see in the photos below, I didn’t always have a part of the chart dedicated specifically to anger as a subset of being upset, until I realised it had its own set of circumstances.

     When you make your own toolbox, only put in it tools you think you’ll need, for situations you think will come up for you. You wouldn’t go around carrying a spare tire when you don’t even drive, would you?

SUMMARY: The toolbox is custom tailored by you, for you. Don’t put anything you wouldn’t use for situations that don’t come up for you.

     Here’s what my wellness toolbox looks like:  

     It covers being upset (subset: anger,) being anxious, being depressed (subset: hopeless), and for the times when I feel off but I don’t know what I’m feeling (a highly recommended part of your flowchart, I’d say!) First, let’s go over being upset (but not angry.)

     First, I’d set myself up for success by doing a quick boost like playing with my cat or hugging my partner. Then I’d do something called Mind Over Mood I found.

     If I still needed help, I’d do stream of consciousness journalling (or junk journalling.) Regardless of how much better I felt at the end, I’d then do gratitude journalling to remind me of the reasons to be content.

     If I’m angry, however, I’d go straight to Mind Over Mood. This would help me identify what I was feeling that might be under anger for the next step, writing a letter to whoever was the source of my ire. Then, when I was probably out of the heat of the moment, I would do a quick boost, and maybe move on to either addressing what I wrote about, or going down the rest of the “upset” tree.

     For anxiety I have a whole other toolbox that’s more robust; for depression I feel much less confident what I can do will help me be un-depressed, but I can at least avoid spiraling further. The goal of the “I don’t know” tree is to eventually know, and then go down that tree. If you include this, make sure it includes some exploratory practice that gets you to name what you feel and, if you can, why you feel it.

     Here’s the other tools noted in my wellness toolbox.

SUMMARY: The toolbox can be set up for a variety of situations, with specific nuances depending on your needs. You can set it up to have actions in any order; anything that helps you personally.

     Even as I finish writing this, I’m thinking of new ways to use my wellness toolbox. I’ve just added a physical portion of the wellness toolbox, and I’m thinking of adding something for when I’m restless without reason (a common enough thing with my bipolar.)

     I hope this helps you, even more than I hope it continues helping me!

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